Dr Judith Orloff's Blog

Beware of the Go-For-The-Jugular Vampire

 
Judith Orloff - Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Adapted from Dr. Judith Orloff's ”Positive Energy: 10 Extraordinary Prescriptions for Transforming Fatigue, Stress, and Fear into Vibrance, Strength, and Love ”

One of the most malevolent of bloodsuckers, this person is vindictive and cuts you down with no consideration for your feelings.

Driven by envy, competition, or severe insecurity they deflate your energy with just the right insult. Their jabs can be so hurtful, and are hard to get them out of your head. Whoppers my patients have endured include: “Darling, gray hair is so unattractive;” “Forget him. He’s way out of your league;” “Don’t be absurd, you’re not material for that job!” Some are unapologetically bent on bloodlust; others are more passive aggressive. This fiend uses their own darkness to maim and insinuates that darkness in you, a maneuver they probably learned from their parents at the dinner table. Energetic fallout from these vampires is nuclear, leaves you sickened by siphoning vital energy. Excessive exposure can cause illnesses from chronic fatigue to depression.

In my book, Positive Energy, I discuss The Go-For-The-Jugular Vampire, who is the most damaging when they have you cornered. The place you least want to be is stuck in a car with them. The noxious vibes from their comments pollute that closed environment. You, the recipient, can practically feel them congealing in your arteries. Research has shown that driving brings out horrific behavior; cars are a set-up for road rage, aggression, and family warfare. A common form of spousal abuse is for one partner to verbally incinerate the other in a car, and start driving erratically. Heed this warning. If you suspect someone belongs to this vampire species, don’t even consider getting into that vehicle!

What to do about this drainer? Move heaven and earth to eliminate them from your life. There’s no gain to being exposed to such venom. However, if they must stay, never stoop to their level by countering meanness with meanness. That only inflames their power. Instead, do your best not to take their poison personally—they’re an injured person who pitifully can’t do any better. In a temporary situation, say with a pipsqueak despot who’s filling in for your boss, feel free to shield to your heart’s content and not go for the bait. If we’re talking about your mother, who’s there to stay, go further by firmly asserting, “Mom, we need to treat each other with respect. Your remark about ___was unkind. I won’t permit you to treat me that way.” Don’t cave in. Limit contact or enforce other consequences if she persists. A realistic expectation is to gradually modify her behavior. I also suggest the following tactics from Positive Energy to further diffuse vindictiveness. They can be used with other emotional vampire types as well.

Strategies to Remove Negative Vibes and Protect Your Energy

  • Break eye contact to stop the transfer of toxins.
  • Use the breath to retrieve your life force. Let it function like a vacuum cleaner. With each inhalation visualize yourself power-suctioning back every drop of energy that’s being snatched from you. Keep inhaling until the job is done. Do this in the presence of a vampire or later on.
  • Exhale negative vibes out the back of your lower spine. There are spaces between your lumbar vertebrae, natural exit points for energy. Touch the area; get a feel for the anatomy. When toxicity accumulates, expel it through these spaces. Envision dark gunk leaving your body. Then breathe in fresh air and sunlight, a quick revitalizer.
  • Jump in a bath or shower to cleanse negative vibes and prevent further drain. If you are feeling particularly drained add Epson salts or sea salts to the water. If you are in the shower you can rub sea salt on your skin and then wash it off. Drink plenty of water to flush toxic energy from your system too. Also you can burn sage where this vampire has been to purify every nook and cranny. (This works well in hotel rooms when a prior guest’s left-over vibes feel smarmy, but use only a little so you don’t trigger the smoke alarm!)
  • Practicing these strategies will preserve your energy, short and long term. But also expect to bump into one pesky cosmic certainty: we energetically attract what we haven’t worked out in ourselves. So if you keep getting swarmed by a particular vampire, honestly examine why. From experience, I’ve seen that I can guard my energy until lost Atlantis rises, but if I don’t strive to heal childhood patterns associated with unhealthy relationships the same vampires will just keep hovering. Conquering unresolved insecurities strengthens your energy field, reducing a drainer’s power.

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    Judith Orloff, MD is author of The Empath's Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People, upon which her articles are based. Dr. Orloff is a psychiatrist, an empath, and is on the UCLA Psychiatric Clinical Faculty. She synthesizes the pearls of traditional medicine with cutting edge knowledge of intuition, energy, and spirituality. Dr. Orloff also specializes in treating empaths and highly sensitive people in her private practice. Dr. Orloff’s work has been featured on The Today Show, CNN, the Oprah Magazine and USA Today. She is a New York Times best-selling author of Emotional Freedom, The Power of Surrender, Second Sight, Positive Energy, and Guide to Intuitive Healing. Connect with Judith on  Facebook and  Twitter. To learn more about empaths and her free empath support newsletter as well as Dr. Orloff's books and workshop schedule, visit her website.

    Comments
    Elan commented on 20-Oct-2016 01:25 PM
    Thanks to your book EMOTIONAL FREEDOM, I've made great progress in healing my empathic self from my narcissist mom. In caring for her in her last years, I came upon my tool of humor and made her laugh all the time -- in truth, I learned to disarm her while I had to be with her. Thank you for your expert care! Please enjoy a beautiful new autumn.
    Sharon H. commented on 20-Oct-2016 01:33 PM
    THANKS AGAIN Dr. Orloff FOR GUIDING us to a better life.
    Anonymous commented on 23-Oct-2016 06:19 PM
    I was in a relationship with someone like that, he was an absolute narcissist. It took nightmares of him being a vampire sucking the life from me for me to realise that's what was happening in my real life.

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