Ask Dr. Orloff

How do we stop judging when we see a terrible injustice?

Question: My whole being is filled with it at the moment. One question is confusing me... if we are not to judge and we see a tremendous injustice (judgment here) are we not supposed to try to help? In trying to help, are we judging?

Answer: This is a very important question. In any situation you can do what you can do help. Sometimes people may want our help, at other times they don't. You can certainly offer assistance, but be prepared to honor the person's response. We are human, and all have preferences and opinions. But judgment cuts deeper into a place that I believe needs to be healed. Whenever I feel judgmental it hurts inside me. I always ask myself where the judgment is coming from--for instance early parental influences--and try to compassionately heal these in myself. Be kind to yourself as you're exploring all this. I love the serenity prayer. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Be loving to yourself,
Judith Orloff

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