Ask Dr. Orloff

What if I'm an energy vampire?

I've heard you discuss energy vampires and to move away from them. But I have never seen any help for those of us who are energy vampires and want to stop. I harm the people close to me with my energy. Lately, I've had terrible abuse memories, depression, panic, and severe mood swings.When strong feelings come up, I project them out on my partner and cause physical pain and emotional distress. I scare myself. I do this out of fear or anger, then I wind up feeling more terrified - of myself. How do I face these severe emotions without connecting to others psychically? I want to stop dissociating, because that is when "something else" - something dark or stuck comes through me. All I know is I have been bought into darkness by allowing this to hurt my partner and others.

You are very courageous to be so honest in your self-evaluation. I love your question. The first step in healing is to identify the initial wound in you that compels your behavior now. I've found that people who are energy vampires had a wound early on--either abuse, emotional, physical, or psychic--parental neglect or other traumas. This causes a nick in your energy field so you're not able to sustain your energy and you reach out to others to get filled. But until you heal that initial trauma the pattern will continue. I strongly suggest going into psychotherapy with a therapist who knows about energy--see referrals on my website--to begin the healing process. It will be wonderfully liberating for you. Also practice the centering techniques I discuss in Intuitive Healing so you're less apt to project your emotions onto your partner. My new book Positive Energy has lots of information on energy vampires too.


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