Ask Dr. Orloff

Why are narcissists so hard to detach from?

Question: Hello Dr. Orloff,

I love your book Emotional Freedom...reading it & learning from it. It's wonderful! My question is a year after a horribly sad break-up with a man, who I now know (thanks to your Energy Vampire Course on the DailyOm) is not only a narcissist but also an emotional vampire, why am I having 100% accurate dreams about him while not hearing from him for a year, and doing the work to cut the cords between us. Why can't I get his energy off of me? It's here, like tar, 24/7.
Thanks for your help,
Elizabeth, Colorado

Answer: Dear Lisa,

Narcissists are very difficult to detach from. It is extremely important than you focus all your positive energy and thoughts on doing good things for yourself and the world. Before you go to sleep at night inwardly put in a request not to dream about him. If you do dream about him, do not focus on them. The secret to detaching is using your will to move towards the light. Don't let your mind wander to the past or to what he is doing. Be very kind to yourself and know that you deserve a loving relationship with someone who can reciprocate that love.
All the best,

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