What is the difference between asserting your needs and being controlling?
Phillip
Edinburgh, Scotland
Answer: It is healthy to assert your needs. Empaths are often reluctant to do this because of being judged as “neurotic” or “overly sensitive.” To healthily assert your needs it’s useful to say to someone, in a kind, firm tone, for instance, “It would mean the world to me if you can honor my alone time, rather than knocking on the door.” In contrast, being controlling means that you are trying to dominate the person’s behavior through nagging, whining, repetition, yelling, or harassment. Controlling people often use blame, guilt, drama or moodiness to get their way. Asserting your needs with respect creates positive relationships. Also it’s good to assert one need at a time so that the person isn’t overwhelmed by too many requests. Being controlling is a pressure-technique that can damage relationships.
Hope that helps. (More detailed information is in The Empath’s Survival Guide).
Great question!
Judith