The Importance of Building Self-Empathy
Self-empathy is a commitment to be caring rather than shaming or punishing yourself, especially if you’ve made a mistake. Maybe your first impulse is to push too hard or get impatient with your progress. Or you might beat yourself up for falling short at work or when communicating with a loved one. Or you are too quick to hate or blame yourself. Without self-empathy, these are no-win situations. That’s why self-empathy is so vital to becoming a healthy, empowered empathic person.
Because of the absolute importance of this subject, I’ve devoted a complete chapter to it in my book The Genius of Empathy which is available on your favorite online booksellers or bookstores. Please review this information in the chapter to get a sense of why I’m framing self-empathy as a healing force in your life.
Whenever you have physical distress you can connect to it with empathy. First, identify the painful place in your body. Take a few deep breaths and relax into it. Connecting with your heart in stressful situations, including medical or dental procedures, reduces stress. Keep sending the uncomfortable area lovingkindness. This part of you, whether it’s a bone, an organ, or a tissue, needs your understanding.
Self-empathy means accepting that you are human and can learn and grow. Of course, you will make mistakes or have regrets. You may move forward, slip backward, then move ahead again. You are not perfect. None of us are. Thank goodness. Perfection is so boring! I love the Japanese concept of wabi-sabi, which sees imperfections as beautiful and interesting. We are all messy and extraordinary at the same time. Self-empathy starts with being willing to accept your less-than-best qualities as well as your stellar ones.