In all successful relationships it’s vital to honestly examine your behavior and be willing to discuss it and change. “What can I do if I’m draining someone?” is an honest question that means you are ready for change. Be compassionate with yourself in this inquiry and applaud your desire to change. They key to change is to examine the draining behavior, such as being negative or controlling—then treat others differently.
1. Do people avoid you or glaze over during a conversation?
Yes
No
2. Are you self-obsessed?
Yes
No
3. Are you often negative?
Yes
No
4. Do you gossip or bad-mouth people?
Yes
No
5. Are you critical or controlling?
Yes
No
6. Are you a drama queen or king?
Yes
No
7. Do you corner people and tell them your life's story?
Yes
No
8. Are you in an emotional black hole, but won’t get help?
Yes
No
How to interpret this quiz
If you had 0 yeses – You have positive energy much of the time and can increasingly treat yourself with kindness.
If you had 1 yes – You are a positive person who is occasionally negative. Just be aware of when comes in and try to change the behavior.
If you had 2 yeses – Your energy is getting more vibrant and alive as you begin to set better boundaries with negative people.
If you had 3 yeses – Positive energy is building and you’re making room for more joy.
If you had 4 yeses – You’re a combination of positive and negative. You challenge now is to watch for draining behaviors and change the
If you had 5 yeses – Sometimes you are positive, though negativity still plays a significant role in your life.
If you had 6 yeses – Your behavior can be draining, but you’re ready to learn how to be more positive in your life even if you don’t access this attitude easily now.
If you had 7 yeses – You tend to be negative with people and can be hard on yourself and others. It’s time to be kinder to yourself and others. Stay open to this.
If you had 8 yeses – A positive attitude towards people is hard to come by at this point, but you can always start to build it NOW!
Judith Orloff, MD is a New York Times bestselling author with the upcoming book The Genius of Empathy: Practical Skills to Heal Yourself, Your Relationships and the World (Foreword by the Dalai Lama). She has also written The Empath’s Survival Guide and Thriving as an Empath, which offers daily self-care tools for sensitive people. She integrates the pearls of conventional medicine with cutting edge knowledge of intuition, empathy, energy medicine, and spirituality. Dr. Orloff specializes in treating empaths and highly sensitive people in her private practice and online internationally. Her work has been featured on The Today Show, CNN, Oprah Magazine, the New York Times and USA Today. Dr. Orloff has spoken at Google-LA, TEDx U.S. and TEDx Asia. More information about Dr. Orloff’s Empathy Training Programs for businesses, The Empath Survival Guide Online Courseand speaking schedule at www.drjudithorloff.com.
