Are You In A Relationship With A Victim?


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Are You In A Relationship With A Victim?

If you typically get drawn into fixing other people’s problems, chances are, you’ve attracted numerous victims into your life. The victim grates on you with a poor-me attitude and is allergic to taking responsibility for their actions. To identify if you are in relationship with a victim, take the following quiz.



1. Does this person often appear inconsolably oppressed or depressed?YesNo
2. Are you burned out by his or her neediness?YesNo
3. Does he or she always blame “bad luck” or the unfairness of others for her problems?YesNo
4. Do you screen your calls or say you’re busy in order to dodge his or her litany of complaints?YesNo
5. Does his or her unrelenting negativity compromise your positive attitude?YesNo

How to interpret this quiz

  • If you had 0 yeses – Either you arn’t in a relationship with a victim; or you are coping with this personality in a successful, healthy way.
  • If you had 1 yes – The beginning signs of being involved with a victium are there. To clear the air, it could be a great time to address the main issue related to his or her victimhood. Then your emotional freedom can be preserved and your relationship can remain healthy.
  • If you had 2 yeses – You are in a relationship with someone who has some definite victim tendencies. Your emotional freedom is becoming increasingly compromised by his or her poor me attitude.
  • If you had 3 yeses – You are in a relationship with someone who has moderate victim tendencies. This can make you want to avoid interacting.
  • If you had 4 yeses – You are in a relationship with someone who has strong victim tendencies. It’s likely that a victim is violating your emotional freedom but you may be reluctant to speak up to improve the situation.
  • If you had 5 yeses – You are in a relationship with a victim. Interacting with this person can cause you to be irritated or drained. You are in a great position now to learn how to set kind but firm boundaries to create a healthier interaction.

This quiz is excerpted from Emotional Freedom by Judith Orloff MD

(Learn more about combating emotional vampires in Chapter 6)


Judith Orloff, MD is a New York Times bestselling author with the upcoming book The Genius of Empathy: Practical Skills to Heal Yourself, Your Relationships and the World (Foreword by the Dalai Lama). She has also written The Empath’s Survival Guide and Thriving as an Empath, which offers daily self-care tools for sensitive people. She integrates the pearls of conventional medicine with cutting edge knowledge of intuition, empathy, energy medicine, and spirituality. Dr. Orloff specializes in treating empaths and highly sensitive people in her private practice and online internationally. Her work has been featured on The Today Show, CNN, Oprah Magazine, the New York Times and USA Today. Dr. Orloff has spoken at Google-LA, TEDx U.S. and TEDx Asia. More information about Dr. Orloff’s Empathy Training Programs for businesses, The Empath Survival Guide Online Course and speaking schedule at

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