Are You In A Relationship With A Victim?


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Are You In A Relationship With A Victim?

If you typically get drawn into fixing other people’s problems, chances are, you’ve attracted numerous victims into your life. The victim grates on you with a poor-me attitude and is allergic to taking responsibility for their actions. To identify if you are in relationship with a victim, take the following quiz.



1. Does this person often appear inconsolably oppressed or depressed?YesNo
2. Are you burned out by his or her neediness?YesNo
3. Does he or she always blame “bad luck” or the unfairness of others for her problems?YesNo
4. Do you screen your calls or say you’re busy in order to dodge his or her litany of complaints?YesNo
5. Does his or her unrelenting negativity compromise your positive attitude?YesNo

How to interpret this quiz

  • If you had 0 yeses – Either you arn’t in a relationship with a victim; or you are coping with this personality in a successful, healthy way.
  • If you had 1 yes – The beginning signs of being involved with a victium are there. To clear the air, it could be a great time to address the main issue related to his or her victimhood. Then your emotional freedom can be preserved and your relationship can remain healthy.
  • If you had 2 yeses – You are in a relationship with someone who has some definite victim tendencies. Your emotional freedom is becoming increasingly compromised by his or her poor me attitude.
  • If you had 3 yeses – You are in a relationship with someone who has moderate victim tendencies. This can make you want to avoid interacting.
  • If you had 4 yeses – You are in a relationship with someone who has strong victim tendencies. It’s likely that a victim is violating your emotional freedom but you may be reluctant to speak up to improve the situation.
  • If you had 5 yeses – You are in a relationship with a victim. Interacting with this person can cause you to be irritated or drained. You are in a great position now to learn how to set kind but firm boundaries to create a healthier interaction.

This quiz is excerpted from Emotional Freedom by Judith Orloff MD

(Learn more about combating emotional vampires in Chapter 6)


Judith Orloff, MD is the New York Times best-selling author of The Empath’s Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People. Her latest book Thriving as an Empath offers daily self-care tools for sensitive people along with its companion The Empath’s Empowerment Journal. Dr. Orloff is a psychiatrist, an empath, and is on the UCLA Psychiatric Clinical Faculty. She synthesizes the pearls of traditional medicine with cutting edge knowledge of intuition, energy, and spirituality. Dr. Orloff also specializes in treating empaths and highly sensitive people in her private practice. Dr. Orloff’s work has been featured on The Today Show, CNN, Oprah Magazine, the New York Times and USA Today. Dr. Orloff has spoken at Google-LA and has a TEDX talk. Her other books are Emotional Freedom, The Power of Surrender, Second Sight, Positive Energy, and Guide to Intuitive HealingExplore more information about her Empath Support Online course and speaking schedule on

Connect with Judith on  Facebook Twitter and Instagram.