Being unable to turn off your thoughts is painful, especially in the middle of the night.
As a psychiatrist and empath, many of my patients come to me with an overactive mind. They’re frustrated because their mind’s chatter is drowning out everything else. It goes non-stop, keeping them stuck in circular thinking. They grow tired of repeating the same story, but they don’t know how to stop.
We each have a small and a large self. The small self is limited to the personality level where your ego, intellect, and emotional struggles dominate, and the large self is ruled by the heart. Overthinking can happen when the ego gets hurt, can’t let it go, and stays hurt. It would rather be right and have you remain stressed and angry than for you to release those burdens. As well, the small self compellingly tries to argue you out of empathy and offers “good reasons” to cling to suffering, fear, and grudges.
Empathy is the way of the heart. It lets you switch channels out of your busy mind to a different frequency where healing can happen.
Here are nine strategies from my book, The Genius of Empathy, to help you shift from the small to the larger self.
Nine Strategies to Combat Overthinking
- Compassionately identify the unproductive pattern.
- Focus on breathing through your nose to shift out of your mind and into your body.
- Kindly tell yourself, Overthinking won’t help resolve the problem. It only frustrates me.
- Focus only on the Now rather than making up scary stories about the future.
- Accept what you do have the power to change rather than dwelling on situations beyond your control.
- Gently put your hand over your heart and visualize an uplifting image that relaxes you.
- Keep repeating, All is well. With time, this issue will be solved. Or simply Ohm, which in Sanskrit means “I am peaceful.”
- Listening to serene music transports you out of your mind and into your heart. It’s impossible to “think” the experience of music. You must feel it.
- An antidote for overthinking is to revel in the wonder of nature: a sunset, a dusky dawn, a sliver of moon . . . whatever touches you.
Once you shift out of your intellect and ego, loving forces can offer extra help. With an open heart, you may become willing to consider, Perhaps there’s a better choice that I’m unaware of. Perhaps I can change my attitude or behavior to heal a relationship.
Adapted from The Genius of Empathy by Judith Orloff, MD (Sounds True 2024)