Dr Judith Orloff's Blog

Are You Having an Emotional Affair?

Judith Orloff - Friday, June 24, 2016
 

(Excerpt from Dr. Judith Orloff's national bestseller The Power of Surrender: Let Go and Energize Your Relationships, Success, and Well-Being)

A soul mate relationship is based on trust, commitment, and a strong desire to be together.

Still, despite this powerful bond, it’s also true that your hearts will be stretched in countless ways. The danger, especially during challenging times, is that you may be vulnerable to having an emotional affair. This can damage trust and stop you from surrendering to the growth needed for your relationship.

What is an emotional affair?

I describe it as when you turn to a friend or co-worker for emotional (not physical) intimacy. The seduction is that this person gives you what you feel your mate doesn’t: support, ego boosts, empathy, playfulness, an undercurrent of flirting or attraction. Initially, this can seem innocent but you may begin to share more with this “safe” person than with your mate.

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Taming Your Inner Slave Driver

Judith Orloff - Monday, May 16, 2016
 

Adapted from Dr. Judith Orloff’s NY Times bestseller “Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life” (Three Rivers Press, 2011)

Your inner slave driver must be tamed if you want to have a happy, balanced life.

Your inner slave driver is the part of you that’s addicted to workaholism, rushing, and going nonstop until you drop. If you don’t put in a ten-hour day, you get anxious. Also, you feel guilty relaxing or taking time off from work or solving emotional problems. In your mind, to feel calm is to feel guilt, a linkage you must first notice and then reprogram. The inner slave driver shows no mercy. Unchecked, it’ll whip you into an anxious state of physical and emotional collapse. To transform anxiety, rein in your slave driver by treating yourself with more compassion, turning down the tension, and regularly planning stress-free interludes.

Once, during an anxious period when my inner slave driver took over, I dreamed that a ceramic mug I loved with “Dance-Sing-Play” on it, cracked. This upset me because I couldn’t drink tea from it anymore. Upon awakening I got the message: to have more fun and put less pressure on myself so that I didn’t crack. Similarly, oversee your inner slave driver. Staying mindful of this voice and saying an emphatic “no” to it preserves calm.

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4 Positive Beliefs that Promote Healing

Judith Orloff - Wednesday, March 02, 2016
 

(Adapted from Guide to Intuitive Healing: 5 Steps to Physical, Emotional, and Sexual Wellness Harmony Books, 2001 by Judith Orloff MD)

Many of us spend a lifetime creating and listening to negative voices. Where do they come from? Why do they persist? To begin with, they echo the words of parents, teachers, and other authority figures as well as normal individual insecurities.

I appreciate from my own experience how tenacious negative voices can be. They feed on our apprehensions and on the part of ourselves that is reluctant to be large. Just when you think they're gone-they're ba-ack. Nonetheless, there comes a point when you must decide if you want a life that is fear-driven or one founded on love and hope.

Here’s a perspective to help you silence your negative voices from my book, Guide to Intuitive Healing. The beliefs ensure that you will heal as speedily and painlessly as possible. If you are going through a healing crises or illness or simply want to feel more vibrant, I suggest that you embrace all of them.

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Top 10 Traits of an Empath

Judith Orloff - Wednesday, February 10, 2016
 

Adapted from Dr. Judith Orloff’s NY Times bestseller “Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life” (Three Rivers Press, 2011)

The trademark of an empath is that they feel and absorb other people’s emotions and/or physical symptoms because of their high sensitivities. They filter the world through their intuition and have a difficult time intellectualizing their feelings.

As a psychiatrist and empath myself, I know the challenges of being a highly sensitive person. When overwhelmed with the impact of stressful emotions, empaths can have panic attacks, depression, chronic fatigue, food, sex and drug binges, and many physical symptoms that defy traditional medical diagnosis.

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The Emotional Vampire Survival Guide

Judith Orloff - Wednesday, December 02, 2015
 

Adapted from Dr. Judith Orloff’s NY Times bestseller “Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life” (Three Rivers Press, 2011)

'Tis the season to be with family, friends and co-workers. Some of them will make you feel positive and elevate your mood. Others will suck optimism and serenity right out of you. Vampires do more than drain your physical energy. The super-malignant ones can make you believe you’re an unworthy, unlovable wretch who doesn’t deserve better. The subtler species inflict damage by making smaller digs which can make you feel bad about yourself—for instance, “Dear, I see you’ve put on a few pounds” or “You’re overly sensitive!” Suddenly they’ve thrown you emotionally off-center you by prodding areas of shaky self-worth. To protect your sensitivity, it’s important to name and combat these vampires. The concept struck such a collective chord in my book Positive Energy that in Emotional Freedom I illustrate how it applies to protecting your emotions and not absorbing other people’s negativity. In the book I discuss these vampires to watch for and ways to deal with them.

SIGNS THAT YOU’VE ENCOUNTERED AN EMOTIONAL VAMPIRE

(from “Emotional Freedom” by Judith Orloff MD)  Read More


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