Are you an emotional vampire? Take the test here to determine your score.
One of the most malevolent of bloodsuckers, the go-for-the-jugular energy vampire is vindictive and cuts you down with no consideration for your feelings.
Driven by envy, competition, or severe insecurity they deflate your energy with just the right insult. Their jabs can be so hurtful, and are hard to get them out of your head. Whoppers my patients have endured include: “Darling, gray hair is so unattractive;” “Forget him. He’s way out of your league;” “Don’t be absurd, you’re not material for that job!” Some are unapologetically bent on bloodlust; others are more passive aggressive. This fiend uses their own darkness to maim and insinuates that darkness in you, a maneuver they probably learned from their parents at the dinner table. Energetic fallout from these vampires is nuclear, leaves you sickened by siphoning vital energy. Excessive exposure can cause illnesses from chronic fatigue to depression.
In my book Positive Energy I discuss The Go-For-The-Jugular Energy Vampire, who is the most damaging when they have you cornered. The place you least want to be is stuck in a car with them. The noxious vibes from their comments pollute that closed environment. You, the recipient, can practically feel them congealing in your arteries. Research has shown that driving brings out horrific behavior; cars are a set-up for road rage, aggression, and family warfare. A common form of spousal abuse is for one partner to verbally incinerate the other in a car, and start driving erratically. Heed this warning. If you suspect someone belongs to this vampire species, don’t even consider getting into that vehicle!
What to do about this drainer? Move heaven and earth to eliminate them from your life. There’s no gain to being exposed to such venom. However, if they must stay, never stoop to their level by countering meanness with meanness. That only inflames their power. Instead, do your best not to take their poison personally—they’re an injured person who pitifully can’t do any better. In a temporary situation, say with a pipsqueak despot who’s filling in for your boss, feel free to shield to your heart’s content and not go for the bait. If we’re talking about your mother, who’s there to stay, go further by firmly asserting, “Mom, we need to treat each other with respect. Your remark about ___was unkind. I won’t permit you to treat me that way.” Don’t cave in. Limit contact or enforce other consequences if she persists. A realistic expectation is to gradually modify her behavior. I also suggest the following tactics from Positive Energy to further diffuse vindictiveness. They can be used with other emotional vampire types as well.
Strategies to Remove Negative Vibes and Protect Your Energy
Practicing these strategies will preserve your energy, short and long term. But also expect to bump into one pesky cosmic certainty: we energetically attract what we haven’t worked out in ourselves. So if you keep getting swarmed by a particular vampire, honestly examine why. From experience, I’ve seen that I can guard my energy until lost Atlantis rises, but if I don’t strive to heal childhood patterns associated with unhealthy relationships the same vampires will just keep hovering. Conquering unresolved insecurities strengthens your energy field, reducing a drainer’s power.
Adapted from Dr. Judith Orloff’s ”Positive Energy: 10 Extraordinary Prescriptions for Transforming Fatigue, Stress, and Fear into Vibrance, Strength, and Love”