Who Are the Best Partners for Empaths?


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Which type of person makes the ideal match for empaths? It depends on your temperament and needs. You must determine which type (or mixture of types) you prefer and will be most compatible with over time. Each type can be extroverted or introverted. (See “The Empath’s Survival Guide” to learn more about an empath’s needs in love.)

Type #1. The Intellectual: Intense Thinker

Intellectuals are smart and astute analyzers who are most at home in their mind. They see the world through logic and rational thought. Known for keeping calm during a conflict, they often avoid their emotions, don’t easily trust their gut, and are slow to participate in light-hearted, sensual, or playful activities. Intellectuals can make good partners for certain empaths because their sense of logic compliments and grounds an empath’s emotional intensity.

Tips to Help an Empath Communicate with an Intellectual

  • Ask for help. Intellectuals love to solve problems. Be very specific about ways they can assist you with a problem or task.
  • Mention only one issue at a time. Intellectuals can get thrown off by too many “unfixable” emotions.
  • Regularly communicate. Keeping the lines of communication open with intellectuals allows you to be clearer and more loving with each other.
  • Type #2. The Empath: Emotional Sponge

    Empaths are kind, supportive, and passionate partners. They also tend to feel their own and their spouse’s emotions to an extreme. I am often asked, “Can two empaths have a good relationship?” Yes, definitely. The heart connection is incredible! Because both partners understand each other, they don’t have to explain themselves as much. However, for such a relationship to succeed and remain harmonious, the couple must keep sharing about their mutual needs. Two empaths on overwhelm at the same time can get pretty intense. Such a relationship requires mutual understanding and separate spaces to wind down.

    I’ve treated many couples in which both partners are empaths. I’ve taught them how to respect each other’s sensitivities but stay grounded. The positive side is that each person easily appreciates what the other is feeling. The more difficult aspect is defining your own needs and setting boundaries to feel safe and calm. When empaths are triggered, they need a time-out to regroup and decompress. Two empaths who are both upset can aggravate each other’s anxiety. Each partner needs his or her separate quiet space to unwind. Though it is often challenging for two empaths to be in love, over the long term, the relationship can be successful with mutual respect.

    Tips to Help Two Empaths Communicate

  • Take time apart each day to relax. Calming minibreaks by yourself are restorative. Go for a walk outside or meditate in your room alone. Exhale pent-up emotions such as anxiety or fear so they don’t stay in your body or you project them to your partner.
  • Protect your sensitivities. Make a list of your top five most emotionally triggering situations. Then, together, formulate a plan for handling them so you don’t get caught in a panic.
  • Meditate together. This helps you to connect spiritually in silence and will strengthen your bond.
  • Type #3. The Rock: Strong and Silent Type

    Consistent, dependable, and stable, they will always be there for you. You can express emotions freely around them. They won’t get alarmed or be critical. You can always count on them, which is reassuring for empaths who love consistency. But Rocks often have a hard time sharing their own feelings. Their empath mates may keep trying to get them to open up but become frustrated with the slow progress. Empaths may feel that Rocks are emotionally shut off, even boring.

    Empaths and Rocks can make wonderful partners. They balance each other. Rocks can learn from empaths how to express their passion and emotions more clearly, while empaths can learn grounding from the Rock. Their feet are solid on the earth. It’s not that Rocks don’t have feelings. They just need you to lovingly support them to bring them out.

    Tips to Help an Empath Communicate with a Rock

  • Express gratitude. Regularly voice appreciation for a Rock’s positive qualities.
  • Make an intimacy request. In order to connect more deeply, ask the Rock to express at least one emotion a day such as “I’m delighted,” “I love you,” or I’m feeling anxious.”
  • Spend time in nature together. This will let you have a mutual physical activity which will bring you closer to each other in natural settings.
  • I do best with a partner who is a Rock and a non-empath. My mate, who has some admirable Rock qualities, is grounded and can hear my emotions without getting swept away by them. Being with another empath would feel too overwhelming for me. I also prefer a partner who is quiet and contained, rather than someone who talks a lot and shares his emotional states frequently.

    How do you find a compatible partner? Empaths can feel a connection with someone, more with energy than with words. Notice the way you relate to someone’s energy. Ask yourself, does this person’s words match their energy or is something amiss? If you have doubts, go slowly. Do not give your heart to people unless they prove themselves worthy of your love. Keep intuitively tuning in to find out who that person really is.

    11 thoughts on “Who Are the Best Partners for Empaths?

    1. It took me a while and some failed relationships to find someone that is a mix of rock and intellectual.

      I dont know if I’m an empath or just a sensitive kind caring person, but I think this list can be helpful to an HSP as well.

    2. Thank you, Judith: I have followed you since 2005! It helps me to understand what went wrong in a 30 year marriage to a narcissist, now I am a widow & much older. (Still processing ptsd) I don’t hope to have physical intimacy, but would like some companionship, friendship, smiles & laughter with a Rockman down-the-road :)))

    3. Good question such a rich blog as always Dr Orloff
      —I’m an introverted Empath but I can fairly easily spend time with others or 1:1, and reenergise best on my own
      I’de say Rock, or maybe Empath (perhaps more extroverted than myself)

    4. Thank you Judith. This makes absolute sense. 🙂
      Reading through the first two types I could not connect. but for the third one, Rock, there was big yes from within. As you said, an empath and a rock can balance and their qualities will help each other.
      I hope to be with a rock <3

    5. Judith,
      You nailed it. My late husband was a Rock. Many years ago, I was facing numerous practical challenges and briefly expressed some suicidal thoughts. My mother and ex would both have made it “all about them” and just made me feel worse. But H just sat down quietly and said “Don’t kill yourself. I’ll make a few calls…” His response was pitch perfect. Our marriage lasted 23 years and what I miss the most is how he left people alone to work out their problems but somehow knew the right moment to step in and get everything onto the right track.

    6. A good sense of humor helps too! Years back Judith posted about this song : Garbage – Only Happy When It Rains. It is now one of my favorite.

    7. Love this article!! So helpful to name potential mates, and even friends. I can see this dynamic in a variety of interactions I have as an empath. This helps validate that I do best with a rock. Intellectuals can feel too heady for me/too far from the heart and with my own deep sensitivities, being with another empath might feel too overwhelming. This is great clarity!! Thank you for helping me name this!

    8. I amn’t able to use my partner as a vent for the emotional abuse at my workplace by Narcissistic leadership. She used as an opportunity to comment, when there’s a misunderstanding between us, that you are being treated correctly by your bosses at workplace. So i stopped to venting out my grievances to her long back. And moreover she cleverly ensured that i should not use either my son or my relatives or anyone. Her techniques recently only i identified. For that she is using lots of methodologies.

    9. Thank you for being here. I found your first book in a free shelf at a library during my awakening.💜💫🌙

    10. Omg I need a 4th one;)
      Like the rock but with a very big heart 💜 massive heart that can penetrate your soul! I like a quiet relationship though they must be deep in talking and very communicative when it’s needed!
      Can we say a n.4 an emprock? 🤗
      The worst for me was the manipulative & controlling type even in a friend!
      these are people I spot now just because I’m very cautious when I meet someone friend mainly I take time to test the terrain like an animal 😂slow turtle 🐢 slow & wise 🦭💗💗💗💗🙏🙏

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